


love and loss

by ShitabuKenjirou



Series: of thieves and daggers [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, M/M, except that i edited a bit so it's more detailed and also probably more painful, heavy heavy angst, i hope you like crying because that's probably what you will be doing when you read this, i wrote this on tumblr for a request but decided to post it here as well, i'm halfway through 2018 and i still don't know how to properly tag my fics, i'm sorry but i'm also totally not sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-11
Updated: 2018-05-11
Packaged: 2019-04-25 22:05:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14388069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShitabuKenjirou/pseuds/ShitabuKenjirou
Summary: One heist gone wrong.One boy in jail.Two boys reaching a terrible fate.





	love and loss

**Author's Note:**

> aight, let's see if i can breathe some life into this ao3 account of mine
> 
> yes hello sorry sorry it's been months since i updated anything relevant BUT here's a drabble i wrote for a request on tumblr a while ago. i'm dumping it here because a) i like it and b) i'm probably going to write a few follow up drabbles in the same universe i've created and i wanted it all in one place so. here we are. 
> 
> if you've read this on tumblr already then i'm very happy to tell you that i actually edited it a bit. put some more details in it. made the angst even more angsty (hopefully). so enjoy~
> 
> i hope the warning in the tags says enough but just so you know. this is heavy shit. i was asked to kill a character so i did. i nearly died writing it so be prepared

The first thing Shirabu was aware of when he woke up was the pounding headache echoing through his skull. He pried his eyes open, then immediately closed them again when the sudden influx of light sent a pulse of pain through him.

His entire body felt sore, beaten and bruised, and the fact that he seemed to be lying on a stone floor wasn’t helping his condition. He shifted carefully, trying to push himself up into a sitting position, but when he moved his hands to put them on the floor for support, he discovered they were tied together by metal handcuffs.

_Shit._

Taking a deep breath, Shirabu sat upright, ignoring the wave of nausea that rose up in his stomach, and slowly opened his eyes again once his head stopped spinning.

He was in a prison cell.

Shirabu lifted his hands to rub his eyes, the chain beneath his cuffs jangling harshly in the silence. His fingers touched a wound on his cheek, and he winced. When he removed his hands, he found fresh blood on his already dirty fingers, and the wound – which he assumed was a cut – started pulsing along with his headache. The more he got used to the faint rays of the sun spilling through the barred window, the more memories slowly rose to the surface of his mind.

_So we got caught after all_.

Admittedly, the last heist they planned had been a dangerous one, but Shirabu had been confident they could pull it off. It would have meant returning thousands of unfairly taken taxes to the public, stopping the robbery the nobility had been forcing upon them without any regard for the needs of their people. It would have meant returning power to those who needed it, those who lost it years and years ago. And it would have become the biggest heist he could put to his infamous name.

The fight turned out to be harder than he’d anticipated.

Something sharp twisted in Shirabu's chest. How many injured did they get? How many lives did they lose, all because of his outrageous plans? Had he gone too far this time?

He remembered the shouting, the screams of surprise and pain and anguish, the harsh thump of metal armour clashing with the stone beneath, the clanking of swords meeting one another. He remembered losing track of his fellow rebels as he forced his targets into corners, chased them across the courtyard, slippery with blood. He remembered both inflicting and receiving one wound after another, remembered his body begging for mercy as he fought men left and right, trying to achieve his goal, remembered Yahaba–

Shirabu’s heart stopped.

_Yahaba._

“Well, well,” a voice sung, and Shirabu looked up to find a man clad in armour, flanked by two guards. “I didn’t think I’d ever have the opportunity to see you in jail. I suppose today is my lucky day.”

The man smirked, and with that Shirabu recognized who was standing in front of him. Semi Eita, captain of the guard of the nobility scum he’d attempted to rob the day before.

Shirabu put a matching smirk on his face, slowly getting to his feet. After blinking away the sudden stars in his eyes, he stepped forward, looking the captain in the eye.

“Did you enjoy the stab wound I gave you? I’m surprised you’re back on your feet so quick.”

Semi’s face soured. His hand twitched just slightly in the direction of his side. “Ever the confident rebel, I see. Well, I’m glad the reign of the infamous Invisible Thief will come to an end today.”

He jerked his chin, and the two guards behind him stepped forward, one opening the door of the cell while the other rushed in and seized Shirabu by his shoulders.

“Try anything sneaky, and you’ll be dead before you have time to blink,” the guard growled in his ear. Shirabu flinched, trying to push through the ringing in his ears.

The guard pushed him out of the cell, and with that Semi guided them to his inevitable punishment.

“Where is Yahaba?” Shirabu demanded, his gaze carefully scanning every cell they passed. “What did you do to him?”

Semi chuckled. “Oh, you mean that partner of yours? I wouldn’t know, but I’m sure you will join him soon.”

_“What did you do to him?”_ Shirabu repeated, his voice rising in volume. “If you killed him, I swear by all that I hold dear–”

“Oh, no, I didn’t kill him,” Semi interrupted him, reaching the end of the maze of hallways, the sun bouncing off his shining armor. He blocked Shirabu’s view of what was outside, but Shirabu didn’t need to look to know there would be a wooden platform with a noose attacked.

“And neither did any of my men.”

Semi stepped aside, showing Shirabu the courtyard of the castle. There was no platform, no noose. But in the middle, there was a tall wooden pole, with one person tied to it. A person Shirabu would’ve recognized from miles away.

“During your raid yesterday, I lost men whom I’ve fought with for years. Men that were very dear to my heart,” Semi said. He gave Shirabu a look, and Shirabu’s heart sunk.

“So today you will pay the price, and have something dear to you taken away from you.”

Shirabu stopped breathing. His knees wobbled, but before he could sink to the ground the guard holding him pushed him forward. Shirabu protested, digging his feet into the stone beneath him, thrashing in the guard’s arms, but nothing slowed his approach to the pole Yahaba was bound to. He wanted to scream, to yell and to curse, but his throat produced no sound at all.

A circle of guards surrounded them, a few of them holding bows. The courtyard was deadly silent.

He was going to watch Yahaba die.

Yahaba, who made crowns out of wildflowers. Yahaba, who climbed trees to watch sunsets. Yahaba, who sang songs in the middle of the night to help him fall asleep after a nightmare.

Yahaba, who was chained to a pole. Clothes torn. Skin bloodied and scratched and burned. Head hanging between his shoulders in utter defeat.

“Shigeru!” Shirabu managed to call out. Yahaba looked up, and his eyes widened. Relief dragged his shoulders down, and he laughed, the sound soft and suprised. 

_He thought he'd lost me already,_ Shirabu realized. Another blow to his chest.

“You’re alive,” Yahaba said, his voice hoarse, once Shirabu was in earshot. “I– I didn’t think I’d see you again.”

Shirabu was put to a stop in front of Yahaba. He sucked in a breath. 

Waited.

None of the other guards approached. 

“Oh, one more thing,” Semi’s voice sounded from behind him. Shirabu turned, and saw Semi approaching, holding a dagger. He stretched out his hand, offering the weapon to Shirabu.

Semi smiled a sickening smile, one filled with disgust and hatred and blasphemous joy.

“You’re going to have to take his life yourself.”

It was as if his entire body was made of glass, and those words broke through all of his defences and shattered him without remorse.

Semi pressed the dagger in Shirabu’s lifeless hands, and the guard quickly removed Shirabu’s cuffs before shoving him forward. The circle of guards raised its weapons.

Shirabu didn't dare look Yahaba in the eyes.

“One wrong move, and you will be taken down,” Semi announced, his voice merciless and cold as stone. “Refuse, and your dear partner will have to watch you die instead, before being murdered ruthlessly and painfully.”

Shirabu’s chest burned, roared with fire so hot he was convinced it would consume him. His hands trembled along with his breath. He finally glanced up at Yahaba, and the tears that flowed down Yahaba’s face caused his own eyes to sting.

“Kenjirou,” Yahaba whispered, attempting a reasuring smile. “It’s okay. I chose this. I knew the risks. It’s not your–”

“No, it’s not okay, Shigeru!” Shirabu yelled, voice wavering. The guards jumped, but Shirabu barely noticed them. “It is my fault. I dragged you into this, and now you’re going to–”

His breath got stuck in his throat, and Shirabu nearly choked. His fingers drifted up and tugged at his hair, dagger still in one of his hands. “I can’t do this,” he forced out, shaking his head as tears spilled from his eyes. “I cannot. I’d rather kill myself.”

“I want you to live,” Yahaba said. “No, I demand you live. You deserve to have a life after this.”

Shirabu swallowed, and stepped closer. He lifted his bloody, shaking hand and caressed Yahaba’s cheek. Yahaba leaned in to the touch, wet skin touching his calloused palm, and Shirabu's legs nearly collapsed underneath him.

“I don’t want a life if you’re not in it.”

“You have no choice,” Yahaba pointed out. “Either it’s me or it’s the both of us. Don’t risk your life for me.” A soft smile tugged on his lips. “I will find my way back to you, one day. I promise.”

Someone loudly cleared their throat.

“This is all very touching,” Semi interrupted them, “but if you don’t hurry up both of you will suffer. Do it _now_ , Invisible Thief.”

Shirabu attempted to drag in a breath, but it seemed his lungs lost the capacity to function.

“It’s okay,” Yahaba tried to reassure him, even as his voice wobbled, even as fresh tears made new tracks in his dirty skin. Even as he halfheartedly tried to convince himself of the same thing. “It’ll be fine, Kenjirou.”

Shirabu leaned in and gently kissed him on the lips. One last time.

“I’ll make it quick,” Shirabu promised, his voice barely louder than a whisper as he rested his forehead against Yahaba's. “And I’ll kill every single one of the guards here. I’ll avenge you.”

Yahaba laughed -- despite everything, he laughed. Shirabu desperately printed the sound to memory. “That sounds like the Kenjirou I know.”

Shirabu managed a small smile, then stood up straight, bracing himself. Yahaba did the same.

“Are you ready?”

Yahaba nodded. A sob escaped him, and the sound tore through the shreds of Shirabu’s heart.

“As ready as I’ll ever be.”

Shirabu put the dagger to Yahaba’s neck. Yahaba froze.

Time froze right along with him.

_One, two--_

“I love you,” Yahaba forced out.

The words were bruised, beaten up and broken, but it gave Shirabu the breath he needed.

“I love you too,” Shirabu whispered.

_Three_.

Yahaba closed his eyes.

_Goodbye._

"I'm sorry."

With one fluid movement, one he’d made a thousand times, he slit Yahaba’s throat.

Shirabu closed his eyes. He heard Yahaba gasp for breath, heard him slump to the ground, still bound to the pole, heard the blood drip on the unforgiving stones of the courtyard.

Shirabu's lungs wilted like the flower the world just lost.

He turned around, dropping the dagger to the ground. Then he placed his hands on top of his ears, sank to his knees–

And screamed.

**Author's Note:**

> :))) yeah i'm still broken about this
> 
> gotta love the smell of angst at 2.30 in the morning
> 
> I'm actually working on the follow-up drabble right now so hopefully i can publish that within the next few days~ I can't promise anything though because alas, life is still a mess
> 
> also YES I KNOW I HAVEN'T UPDATED MY OTHER FICS IN MONTHS I K N O W I FEEL VERY SAD ABOUT THAT. I HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN THEM I PROMISE


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